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I'm a mom, but I am also so much more. I'm a wife, I work, cook, shop, craft, try to stay healthy, keep up on the latest technology, and style trends, and much more! Come join me in my adventure of making a new blog that allows us to share the everyday things (ups and downs) that turns living an everyday life into living a lively life!

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Parental Care VS School Care. The gray area.

I am a parent who loves my child dearly and tries to give the best to my child at all times so she turns out to be an amazing woman someday.

I am also a person who has worked in K-12 classrooms for 10+ years and loved each of my students and gave my whole heart to trying to provide not only for their education but anything that could help better their lives and their futures.

I know that school staff also love the children in school and want to care for them the best they can.

(Note: I don't say teacher only because I know so many principles, cafeteria workers, secretaries, along with many other staff who care for the students.)

As my daughter is just starting on her educational journey, I hope in the coming years she meets many school staff members who care for her dearly and do all they can to teach her and make her into a great woman. I am grateful, that in the many hours she will spend in school, there are people looking out for her and doing the best they can to mold her into something intelligent and wonderful.

BUT… there is a gray area.   Yes, the dreaded gray area.

There is a great big area of overlap in the 'I/we the parents love and care for my/our child(ren) and you (the school staff) are caring for my child's well being while he/she is in your care'.

Somewhere in that area there is a very fine line of "don't tell me how to parent my child".

Turns out that is what happened to these parents. They received a note reprimanding them for the lunch packed for their daughter.

Sometimes as human beings we care so much that we end up caring too much.

In this case the teacher who wrote the note didn't know what the full contents of the girls lunch were and the school issued an apology.

For school personnel it is hard. When a person cares about children and wants them to succeed in life ones emotions occasionally get in the way and they may get lost in that gray area.

It is not only teachers making conclusions about students home lives.

How often has the neighbor child come to play with your child and you are suprised by something only to find out that there is a whole other reason for the behavior.

In my years working for the school system I often overheard comments made in the teachers lounge about "so and so" doing "this or that", only to hear from another staff member that the child was dealing with a serious illness, a sick parent, homelessness, divorce, abuse, financial problems, or one of many other things. Other times it was a total misperception. The child may have acted a certain way not because of rudeness, but because of a disability or curiosity. Maybe they ate only ice-cream at lunch because their parents can't afford it at home and this is the only time they will ever be able to get a treat like this.

There are a million reasons behind the things that we see each day and we only get a split second glance at many of these things.

Would I be ticked off if I got this note?


However, I am glad I saw this now. If I ever do get a note like this in the future I hope to remember to thank the teacher for being so concerned with my child's health and well being, but then kindly explain the full story.

Footnote: In all this there is also the child. I know of a mom who packed a great lunch and the child snuck a full package of Oreos in her backpack instead…. Just saying parents and teacher's can love and care all they want but these little kiddos have minds of their own too!

What are your thoughts on this?

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